this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize