Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
