I smell stomach acid.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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