There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize