TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
