it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
