Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
