I think my fart just growled at me.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize