butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
