did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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