Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
