so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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