bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
