i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
