She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
