Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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