guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
