i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
