There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
