Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
