i barfeds in our rink
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so let's talk penis.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
