Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
