It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
