in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize