Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
