I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
