Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
