Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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