Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
