i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
