Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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