I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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