How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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