Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
