Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's never too late to be topless.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
