One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
