The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
