haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
