he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize