i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
