So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
