have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
