fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize