Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
