i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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