Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize