Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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