Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
