i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
