sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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