I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
