Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
