I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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