I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
