His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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