Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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