I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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