did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
