the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
