hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
