My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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