My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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