i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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